Throwback Thursday Poetry: Save Me

darkness lurking just behind me
its steamy breath on the back of my neck
chaos’s fantasies stopping me
i have become a mindless wreck

my time has come
i cannot withdraw
without the thunder of guns
i must kill them all

my death would simply empower them
their strength is too great as it is
the only thing i can do now
is the opposite of what has been

they are with me in silence
they are with me in sound
they appear to me in darkness
like a hell bound hound

in my face
you see nothing
in my eyes
you see the suffering

there is one who can save me
from this tormentful dream
i wish someone would tell me
who that one could be

there is no time to waste now
no time to flee
the only one doing the saving
will have to be me

Early poetry from James. From the poetry collection Pariah Bound: The Lonesome Poetry.

Poetry Monday: Daddy Issues

I was four
The first time
I saw
My father
Get drunk
And beat my mother

This happened
For many years
And I repressed
Most of my
Memories

He went on
To beat my sisters
Years later
Always drowning
Himself in alcohol
Never feeling
Remorse

Repressed memories
Returned
I saw him
As he truly was

I’m supposed
To be a man
Like that?

This is the man
I once wanted
To be?

What kind of man
Am I
For wanting
That?

I don’t want to be
A man anymore

From the poetry collection Men Are Garbage.