Tuesday Poetry: Human Connections are Hard to Find

Sometimes when I
Want someone to hold,
Or for someone
To hold me,
My cat knows – 
She lays and 
Purrs on my chest
When I’m lonely.
She’s always there
To knead on my chest
With nails that need clipped
Poking me, drawing blood – 
She settles and sleeps
The constant hum
Of her hypnotic purr.
Some days I fall
Asleep to her affection,
Some days she sleeps
On the couch
When I toss and turn – 
Her affection never
Stops the night terrors
She’s always there afterwards,
But cats can only do
So much for humans

From the poetry collection Cats, Coffee, Catharsis.

Poetry Monday: Accept the Love; Any Love

Confusion and lack of focus
Negative thoughts swirling around
One bad assumption leads
To one bad memory or 
Many, and leads to more
Bad assumptions – lying

This is Satan, Lucifer, The Devil
Thoughts run amuck to
Make you hate yourself, to
Make you hurt yourself, to
Make you kill yourself, to – 
The demons are inside you

When your mind wants you
To push away people who
Love you; ones you love,
The one you love – 
It’s not the love you wanted
But it’s the love you need

From the poetry collection Cats, Coffee, Catharsis.

Coffee and Contemplation: Unemployed Again

With Covid-19 having no clear end in sight, my employer offered everyone the chance to either keep working or take a leave of absence. There weren’t enough hours for everyone, and I chose to take a leave of absence. It’s like quarantine and lockdown all over again. I have too much free time but no motivation to do the things I can do. I’ll figure that out at some point. For now, I’m enjoying being able to collect unemployment. With the additional money from the CARES Act, I’m living comfortably. As comfortable as I can at least.

The lease on my apartment ends August 31 so I’m looking around for a new place. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to move in since my income is solely unemployment right now. I’m sure if needed, my landlord will let me stay a little longer. I’d prefer to find a new place for reasons I won’t discuss now. I’m considering an apartment complex with a dishwasher as I don’t have one. Many of them are either too far away from my job which I return to on September 30 or they’re out of my budget. Things to consider.

I’m saving up as much as I can, but I’m concerned the CARES Act will not get renewed past July 31. I’ll have enough to get through September but it’s everything after that I’m most concerned about. It’s frustrating that I have not received my $1200 stimulus check. It’s frustrating that the Senate doesn’t appear to have any interest in passing another economic aid bill. Everything happening in the United States is frustrating. But it’s about damn time. Some of these issues have been going on for over 200 years. I hope changes over the next decade can move the country and world into something better.