Month: April 2020

Lizard Smashed on the Sidewalk

One evening
As I walked to work
I was cheerful
No concerns or
Worries at the time
Then I felt something
Beneath my foot
A crunch
But not like paper
Or plastic or word
What was it
I lifted my foot
To discover
A lizard smashed
Into the concrete
A small one
Who had barely lived
I didn’t see him
Or her or whatever
I think it ran
Under my foot
And wasn’t 
Fast enough
I felt like a monster
Why was fate so cruel
I spent 30 minutes
Fighting back tears
It was a senseless
Useless murder
One I could never
Take back
It got me thinking
What if I were crushed
Would anyone cry
For me or
Would they make
It about them
Like I am
Making this lizard’s
Death about me
Death never makes sense

Crossed Wires

Every day the
Wounds cut deeper
The ignorance
Of 30 years
Evaporates
The trauma
Lives again
The panic
The mistrust
The pain
The anger – 
I haven’t been
Angry in years
I fear it
Will bottle up
And I will
Self-destruct
But I don’t
Know where
To put the anger – 
Nothing satisfies
The rage monster
Nothing satisfies
The angry child
Who doesn’t 
Know what
Love is
Who doesn’t
Know what
Friendship is – 
I always believed
I held a
Monster inside
Now I know
It’s true
And I’m
Afraid of him
What do I
Do with him – 
Part of me
Says to
Let him out
What Hell
Would follow him
What Hell
Have I
Locked away
Inside my mind – 
There are
No heroes here

From the poetry collection Cats, Coffee, Catharsis.