Category: Fiction

Read Part 3.

            “I’m telling the truth.” Doris said.

            “How’d we lose our powers then?”

            “Belief is a powerful thing. You were once a great sea god called Nereus.”

            “Well, that’s a stupid name. You just made that up.”

            “It’s true.”

            “Oh yeah? What was your name?”

            “It’s always been Doris.”

            “Why’d you change my name?”

            “That was your idea. You enjoyed not being a god anymore. You used the last of your powers to take this form and changed your name to Larcus. It had something to do with the crab in the stars.”

            “That’s stupid. There’s no crab in the stars.”

            “I think you meant a constellation.”

            “I’ve never had one of those.”

            “Anyway, you enjoyed living here with me. But the accident made you forget yourself. You’re still obnoxious though.”

            “You’ve known me all that time? Even when we were gods?”

            “Yes.”

            “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

            “I have. Many times.”

            “Yeah. Okay. I think I’d remember that.”

            “That’s what you always say.”

            “Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I just realized something.”

            “What?”

            “If we had powers when the humans worshiped us, then we just need them to believe in us again. And with that power, we can conquer the world!”

            “Why do you still care about that?”

            “And with my powers, I can melt the ice caps. I’ve completed my master plan! Hahahaha!”

            “You’re an idiot.”

            “You don’t like my master plan?”

            “How do you plan to get humans to worship you?”

            They stare at each other in silence.

            “Shit.”

            “Yep. Your plan still sucks.”

            “I’ll start with the mini lobsters that live in the area.”

            “What?”

            “You know, the little reef lobsters.”

            “I know, but what do you mean start with them?”

            “I’ll get them to worship me. Then I’ll get other sea creatures. It’ll take time. The penguins probably won’t go for it. Then I get the octopi to help me invade the land. They can spread the word of Larcus.”

            “You seriously have a one-track mind.”

            “Thank you. Soon the world will be mine. Look! It’s Wallace. He’ll worship me. Hey! Hey sea tortoise!”

            “No honey. Leave Wallace alone.”

            “Can I speak to you about our lord and savior Larcus the Lobster?”

The End.

Read Part 2.

            “Doris! I’ve done it. I’ve figured it out. I know how to melt the ice caps.”

            “This should be good.”

            “The first step will be the most difficult. We’ll need to gain the trust of the penguins. This won’t be easy as they’re a paranoid bunch and far more nefarious than ducks. Once we have done that, we’ll have full-time access to the ice caps. Next, we need to hire several beavers to construct damns, so we have many safety zones for our land dwelling allies, such as the land lobsters.”

            “What are land lobsters?”

            “They look like lobsters but have pointy tails and live in dry areas.”

            “You mean scorpions.”

            “Once our allies are secure, we can begin phase three of my master plan.”

            “What’s phase three?”

            “Melting the ice caps of course.”

            “How will you do that?”

            They stare at each other in silence.

            “I’m still working on that part.”

            “You have no idea how to achieve that part of your plan.”

            “I’m getting there. I’m getting there. It won’t be long now. I’ll have everything worked out soon.”

            “Call me when you do.”

            “Oh, I will Doris. You’ll see. Just you wait.”

            “I’m trembling with anticipation.”

            Later.

            “Doris! I’ve done it. I’ve figured out…no that’ll never work. Carry on Doris.”

            “Damn. I really thought you had it this time.”

            Later.

            “I’ve got it this time. We’ll get a giant mirror to reflect the sun’s rays onto the ice caps. And then victory!”

            “Where are you gonna get a giant mirror big enough to melt the ice fast?”

            “I…we…shit.”

            “Yes, we do, but back to the mirror.”

            “I hate you.”

            “You could maybe build one.”

            “We’ll build a giant mirror and melt the ice caps. Victory!”

            “How do you build a giant mirror?”

            They stare at each other in silence.

            “Damn you.”

            “I’m just trying to help you work through your issues darling.”

            “Oh? And what are my issues, Doris?”

            “Mostly just losing the memory of the mighty gods we used to be.”

            “Gods!?”

            “Yeah. But humans stopped believing in us and we lost our powers.”

            “You’re pulling my claw.”

Part 4 Coming May 28.