So, it’s been a year to the day since everything fell apart around me. I don’t want to go into all the details. On October 7, 2019 (the day after my world imploded), I started writing three good things that happened to me every day. Some days I’d write more than that, but I always made sure to have at least three. As time went on, I started writing four good things that happened to me every day and why those things were important to me. I’ve done this every day for an entire year. What’s different about myself now from one year ago?
For starters, I’m more positive. Not only that but it’s easier to see positive outcomes or circumstances. I lived so long in a black stew of anger and depression. I thought that was normal. I thought there was no way I could be wrong. I call it the black chaos. With this extra positivity, I noticed I enjoyed little things more than before. Some things I don’t remember ever enjoying. Like taking a picture with friends. That darkness kept me from living my life fully. I never realized how much I had been missing.
Another thing that changed came as a surprise to me. I was sharing some of my story with a coworker. She said she noticed a difference. I thought she would say I was happier or more cheerful. But I didn’t expect her reply. She said I had more confidence in myself. It never occurred to me that would be something that would improve. That’s when I really took hold of this positivity. Not only did I keep making changes in my life, I started looking forward to those changes and what they would bring. The sky was not the limit. The stars were not the limit. The world had become limitless.
I still have a long way to go. I’m not ready for any kind of romance. I’m not even ready for dating. My goal for this next year is to find a full-time job so I don’t have to work several part-time gigs. I have the means to live comfortably and save money, but I want something more fulfilling. I also plan to finish the first draft of the first novel I’ve ever written. Maybe I can get a publishing deal in the next year and that’ll be the first step towards a career. Like I said, possibilities are limitless.
James Pack 