Twofer Tuesday Poetry: Anguish & Hope and Wait


She dreams of a way to go on
Despair takes hope away
She has the strength to persevere
But she has lost her way

She fights the battle ev’ry day
She can’t escape her pain
After all the years of fighting
She wonders if she’s sane

No one can save her from torment
Only she can break free
You can support and be with her
Show her reality

She won’t need your love, but it helps
It can offer comfort
The mad world is constant fire
She values your effort

Hope and Wait

I want to tell her how I feel
But sometimes I can’t find the words
I want her to know I’m here for her
I don’t want her to be alone
Is silence the right thing to do?
Or should I be more proactive
She’ll come to me when she’s ready
But will she still want me around

I cannot sit here and worry
Being anxious will not help her
All I can do is wait and hope
The kind of hope found in your dreams
There’s no one that I care for more
No one else I want to be with
I know that she is worth the wait
Even if it’s ten years or more

From the poetry collection Men Are Garbage.

Poetry Monday: I’m Dead Inside; How Are You?

I sat at a coffee shop
Ignoring the world
Like I do and 
This guy asks me

“Do you know who’s sitting here?”

I think he points
To the chair next
To me
And I stare at him
Confused and irritated

I want to say
I’m sitting in all four chairs
At this table
He looks homeless
And I want to tell him
To leave or go away

He gestures again
To a couch and laptop
With no owner

“Oh! I think he’s over there.”

He wanted to use an outlet
And he probably thinks I’m an asshole

I often struggle with human interaction
I sometimes don’t know
How to people
How to human

I float through each day
No expression or excitement
Hating when others
Talk to me
Hating when others
Come close
To me

I should just wear a sign
So everyone knows
Why I’m an asshole

From the poetry collection Men Are Garbage.

Coffee and Contemplation: What’s So Bad About Horror?

With the sequel to the film IT (2017) releasing soon, I’ve become impatient. After seeing the first film, I added this film to my top 5 favorite movies. I felt the horror film had finally gained some credibility. Despite the popularity, horror still gets a bad name. Horror films are rarely featured at film awards except for special effects of sound design. The only exceptions are true crime films about murder or serial killers. Nothing with creatures or other supernatural figures make the cut unless they’re animated children’s films. I’m certain there are other exceptions but I’m too lazy to do that much research.

The newest rendition of Pennywise is a great film. It’s written well and directed well. Coworkers and colleagues of mine said they didn’t like the film. Their reasoning was they like classic horror movies and that one felt too “blockbuster-y.” I disagree. Classic horror is great, but one cannot compare that to newer films. Consider each film separately without bias from previous films. What’s strange is the media’s take on the new film from Stephen King’s novel. Many media outlets and blog writers didn’t call the film horror. Instead they used terms like “psychological thriller” or “coming-of-age.” 

These terms are good descriptors, but the term horror must be included as well. Laura Bradley writes in her Vanity Fair Article (2017), “The new It movie, you’ve probably read time and time again, is a great coming-of-age story a la Stand by Me.” Other than both stories being from the mind of King and both stories being about kids, these two films don’t have much in common considering genre. Bradley goes on in her article to make some excellent points about how Beverly Marsh is portrayed in the new film. It is worth the read. But why doesn’t she call it a horror film.

Another interesting fact most people may not be aware of, on Instagram, the hashtag #horror has a disclaimer. When you search this hashtag, Instagram gives this message, “Can we help? Posts with words or tags you’re searching for often encourage behavior that can cause harm and even lead to death. If you’re going through something difficult, we’d like to help.” Last time I checked, enjoying horror films, shows, or novels didn’t mean you wanted to harm yourself. Instagram is attempting to censor many industries including female fitness influencers. I wonder if this was how the censorship in Nazi Germany started. When did America become a fascist dictatorship?

My main question is why does horror get a bad rep? Yes, there are some lower quality films that use the objectification of women to make up for poor storylines and terrible makeup or special effects. That’s a generalization of the genre. It has other facets. There are some great films that often get overlooked because the audience said it wasn’t scary enough. The film Jennifer’s Body (2009) is a brilliant film. The dialogue is smart and fun. The story sounds like an overdone troupe but it all works well.

The film tanked at the box office ten years ago. The reviews from critics and regular movie goers were harsh. It’s making a comeback as a cult classic but there are at least two reasons for its failure. Number one, it was marketed as a horror film. This is not accurate. Constance Grady called the film what it is in her Vox Article (2018), a “feminist horror comedy.” It was funny with great social commentary. The only people who thought it was scary were stupid men and boys. They were scared of the idea of a strong female character who ate men. It made them uncomfortable.

Reason number two, 2009 wasn’t ready for the statement the film made. The scared men and boys influenced the ratings and reviews. There were still large groups fighting against homosexuality. The public opinions of Megan Fox and Diablo Cody were poor. It was the perfect storm of negativity. I thought this film was hilarious and loved every minute of it. Do people only allow themselves to like horror films once they’ve been around for a while? Is it not okay to like supernatural horror movies when they’re new?

What I want from filmmakers is for them to focus more on the story and less on trying to scare their audiences. Those troupes are overdone. I want a good story. Jennifer’s Body has a good story. IT has a good story. I recently saw Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019) and it has a good story. I haven’t looked for any reviews. I wonder what others are saying. It is a great film and a great adaptation of the children’s books by Alvin Schwartz.

I want audiences to change their perspective of horror film as well. I want hardcore horror fans to accept all form of horror. Not just slasher films or creature features. I want those who dislike horror to stop generalizing the genre and give new films a chance. Is that too much to ask? I don’t expect people to change overnight. I hope people will surprise me.