Category: Nonfiction

Posted on

Positivity Gave me a World Without Limits

So, it’s been a year to the day since everything fell apart around me. I don’t want to go into all the details. On October 7, 2019 (the day after my world imploded), I started writing three good things that happened to me every day. Some days I’d write more than that, but I always made sure to have at least three. As time went on, I started writing four good things that happened to me every day and why those things were important to me. I’ve done this every day for an entire year. What’s different about myself now from one year ago?

For starters, I’m more positive. Not only that but it’s easier to see positive outcomes or circumstances. I lived so long in a black stew of anger and depression. I thought that was normal. I thought there was no way I could be wrong. I call it the black chaos. With this extra positivity, I noticed I enjoyed little things more than before. Some things I don’t remember ever enjoying. Like taking a picture with friends. That darkness kept me from living my life fully. I never realized how much I had been missing.

Another thing that changed came as a surprise to me. I was sharing some of my story with a coworker. She said she noticed a difference. I thought she would say I was happier or more cheerful. But I didn’t expect her reply. She said I had more confidence in myself. It never occurred to me that would be something that would improve. That’s when I really took hold of this positivity. Not only did I keep making changes in my life, I started looking forward to those changes and what they would bring. The sky was not the limit. The stars were not the limit. The world had become limitless.

I still have a long way to go. I’m not ready for any kind of romance. I’m not even ready for dating. My goal for this next year is to find a full-time job so I don’t have to work several part-time gigs. I have the means to live comfortably and save money, but I want something more fulfilling. I also plan to finish the first draft of the first novel I’ve ever written. Maybe I can get a publishing deal in the next year and that’ll be the first step towards a career. Like I said, possibilities are limitless.

Posted on

Coffee and Contemplation: National GOE Day

The Sunday of the first full weekend of October is National GOE Day. Growth. Overcome. Empower. This national holiday encourages people to support safe spaces for healing and connection for those who have been victimized by abuse and trauma. Art is often encouraged as a tool to help those who have suffered from abuse and trauma to heal and recover. I started this blog to help share my story and my art; my writing. It is through writing poetry and fiction that I’ve been able to heal and learn more about myself. And I encourage others to do the same. It doesn’t matter how good you are or how long you’ve been doing it as long as you enjoy it. 

The My CARE Initiative founded National GOE Day. The program began on May 15, 2015. I continue to find programs like these as I search for new topics for my blog. Even though I have come a long way, finding these new things helps me heal a little bit more. The rest of my life will be a continual journey towards healing and recovery. And along the way I discover new creative expression and strengthen artistic skills I have with my writing. Today is a good day to grow, overcome, and empower.

Posted on

The Final Days of Edgar Allan Poe

On October 3, 1849, Edgar Allan Poe was found lying outside Ryan’s Fourth Ward polls in Baltimore, MD wearing clothes that were not his own. He was semiconscious and described as being in ‘great distress.’ He mentioned the name of an acquaintance of his who lived nearby. He was then taken to the Washington College Hospital where he died a few days later. There were many rumors surrounding his death and what he was doing during his final days. Many said he had been drinking. Others claimed he was picked up by thugs, liquored up, then taken to different polling places in different clothes to vote multiple times for one candidate.

He had traveled from Richmond, VA about a week before. He was on his way to Philadelphia, PA for an editing job. In Richmond, his physician said he was not well and should stay a few more days before traveling. He declined. He took his physician’s walking cane by mistake instead of his own. He had lost his luggage which was found several weeks after his death. His fiancé had said he seemed ill. This was why he met with his physician in Richmond. This illness is likely the cause of his death. Baltimore had an epidemic of Cholera in the Summer of 1849 and many believe this was the illness that claimed Edgar Poe’s life.

Poe’s funeral was held one day following his death and was described as “cold-blooded” and “unchristianlike.” Only seven people attended. Poe’s mother-in-law discovered his beloved tortoiseshell cat Catterina dead shortly after learning of Poe’s death. Learn more about Poe at Biography’s 13 Haunting Facts About Edgar Allan Poe’s Death. Celebrate Poe this week by reading his stories and poetry. It will get you into the spooky season. Read it with friends and have an E.A. Poe appreciation party.