Humans Have Super Powers

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This world has become so complex and abundant with noise and nonsense.  The only way people can survive is with distractions.  These distractions; binge watching television or movies, listening to hours of music, reading, going out to bars, pub quizzes, doing anything and everything to forget about everything.  Forgetting is the human super power.  It is when you cannot forget something that it eats away at you; it destroys you.  Forgetting is necessary for survival.  Humans live long, happy lives by forgetting all the pain and misery.  By forgetting; however, we are doomed to repeat that pain and misery.

People have said there are some experiences you never forget.  This is true, but over time these memories are not at the front of your mind.  One can recall almost anything they have experienced.  It is like a kind of time travel.  You go back in time and relive something from the past.  You remember a lesson you forgot you learned.  You remember an emotion you felt but have not felt for a long time.  Emotions are fluid. They come and go, and if you know how, you can control how long they stay.  You have the power to forget them or remember them as you see fit.

Artists have the most difficult job.  It is their duty to remember.  Some of them make the choice not to forget.  Others have the inability to forget.  They relive the pain and misery and happiness and pleasure to help others remember what has been forgotten.  The job of the artist is to make people feel something; anything.  It is the emotions we have to remember.  Emotions are what makes us human.  But we have a super power.  Sometimes we forget what it means to be human.  We forget our emotions.  We forget so we can survive.

I have never understood how everyone else could survive and look happy with their repetitive, mundane life experience.  It looks like people only do anything to continue distracting themselves.  Someone may not actually care about their support group or volunteering at the animal shelter, but it helps distract them and avoid thinking about their life.  It helps them forget.  It helps them survive.  I have never been able to survive this way.  It always feels like these distractions prevent me from doing what I am supposed to be doing.  These distractions prevent me from expressing myself because they make me forget myself.

I have tried expressing myself in many different ways.  I have tried drawing, photography, music, film; but the only thing that ever lasted was writing.  I am a writer.  It is how I remember who I am.  It is how I survive.  When I do not write, I feel lost and broken.  My purpose in this world is to make people remember; to make people feel.  I am an artist.  Maybe I can help distract others while still making them remember and feel something.  I do not fit in or blend with the crowd.  I never have.  Maybe that is my super power.

Hear No Evil: Auditory Hallucinations


My grandfather had paranoid schizophrenia and bi-polar disorder.  Because of this, I felt a need at an early age to study and learn about these mental conditions.  I feared, my father and I both, had the same conditions because we described what I perceived to be auditory hallucinations.  What I didn’t realize at the time was that we were aware these sounds were not real.  Schizophrenics have trouble distinguishing fantasy from reality.  I was completely unaware of anxiety as a disorder and was even less aware of my own anxiety.  The full scope of symptoms caused by anxiety feels never-ending.

Hallucinations are only talked about under severe situations where people hear voices and lose their grip on reality.  With anxiety, hallucinations are labeled simple because they’re often not of a specific thing.  Common types of sounds heard by those experiencing simple auditory hallucinations include; beeping, high-pitched noises, random noises, pops, and other unclear noises.

My own experiences include some of the previously mentioned sounds, but also single words that have no meaning.  If feels more like echoes of past things I’ve heard.  Imagine a ringing in your ears, but instead you hear a high-pitched noise or something like a train whistle.

You can’t imagine the relief I felt when I learned this was a symptom of anxiety.  That feeling; however, was bittersweet as I realized so many things in my life that I had no explanation for, or thought was normal for everyone, was actually caused by my anxiety.  So much of my life was influenced by anxiety.  It makes me wonder how things might have been different.  While I am not sure exactly when it started, I’ve had anxiety for a least twenty years.  At the time I’m writing this, I am 31-years-old.

Auditory Hallucinations are a cognitive symptom of anxiety.  Other cognitive symptoms include confusion, delusions, dementia, detachment, disorientation, forgetfulness, memory problems, and nightmares.  If you experience any cognitive symptoms, consult with a doctor as it may be related to something more serious.  Never self-diagnose yourself, even if you are a medical or psychiatric physician.

If you believe you’re experiencing auditory hallucinations, remain calm and consult with a doctor before you assume the worst.  If you’re aware they are hallucinations, that means you haven’t lost touch with reality.  You might ignore it like a ringing in your ears or you’ll assume you need rest.  Always consult with a doctor and tell your family, friends, or whomever you have for a support system.  There is no shame in revealing that you’re struggling.

Why I Share Articles About Anxiety


As I have grown to understand the full scope of my anxiety, I am more open about discussing anxiety.  I tell people I have anxiety.  Some believe they can relate and are sympathetic.  Some do have anxiety but never speak of their own struggles.  I sometimes wonder if they think I am brave for vocalizing mine.  Then there are others who do not understand anything.  They associate anxiety with being nervous before a test or feeling stressed at work.  They do not feel anxious every second of every day.  They are why I share articles about anxiety.

Someone offered me a neck and shoulder rub.  They said, “You’re so tense.  Loosen up.  Relax.”  I replied, “I always feel like this.  This IS me relaxed.”  At the time, I did not know all the physical symptoms of anxiety.  I have experienced muscle tension as long as I can remember.  I did not realize I lived with this condition for almost 20 years.  Everyone says I look tense, on edge, or hyper alert.  It makes them uncomfortable, but they have no idea how uncomfortable I am.  Their discomfort goes away; mine is constant.  They are why I share articles about anxiety.

I want to understand myself, so I can heal and grow.  I want other people to better understand where I am coming from and possibly appreciate me a little more.  I want potential romantic partners to understand why I worry or lack confidence in myself.  I want everyone to be patient with me and understanding.  I want to be loved in a way I have never known.  I want to feel comfortable and at ease with someone; with everyone.  I want to feel like I am not a burden to everyone around me.  That is why I share articles about anxiety.  That is why I write articles about anxiety.