“Doris? Doris! Did you eat my worms and baby shrimp?”
“You know I don’t like your food choices Larcus.”
“So, my food just swam away, did they?”
“Probably. You never pay attention to anything.”
“I don’t like your tone. When I take over the world you won’t get to talk to me like that.”
“I always talk to you like this.”
“Let me guess, you think because I’m a lobster and you’re an alligator that you’re better than me.”
“Here we go.”
“Everyone will respect the lobster once I complete my master plan.”
“And what’s your master plan?”
“To conquer everything!”
“And how do you plan to do that this week?”
“I will melt the ice caps.”
“What?”
“The ice caps will melt raising the sea level, drowning millions of humans. Then the sea life will take back this watery rock. Hahahaha!”
“And you expect all sea life to make you their leader?”
“Well yeah. It’s my master plan.”
“Some might resist you.”
“Then I will crush them in my claws.”
“Like that time you tried to crush Wallace the sea turtle?”
“He hid in his shell which is the same as running from a fight. What a coward!”
“Okay. Assuming everyone goes along with your crazy scheme…”
“It’s not a scheme. It’s a master plan for world domination.”
“Whatever. How do you plan to melt the ice caps?”
“Well…I haven’t…worked that part out yet.”
“I thought not. Why don’t you brainstorm some ideas while I pop up top for a little sun bathing.”
“But I can’t think on an empty stomach. That’s why I wanted my worms and baby shrimp. We still haven’t determined whether you ate them or not.”
“Where did you last see them?”
“Yesterday right before I…oh. I guess I ate them yesterday.”
“You are so dumb.”
“Maybe you could get me some things while you pop up top?”
“Get your own food.”
“You never help me when I need it.”
“Don’t be a dick.”
“Fine. Leave. But if I starve today, it’ll be your fault.”
James Pack 