I pursue time alone
Mostly because there are
Few people I want to be around
None of them make me feel comfortable
I seek out connections
With other people, searching
I want someone to share life with
Positive influences are hard to find
Even family can be tiresome
Or they fail to notice my discomfort
Perhaps they don’t care
Or are too self-absorbed
Meeting people in public
Is equally disappointing
I don’t know them well enough
Or I genuinely don’t like them
There are few I actually like
And I don’t see them often enough
Life feels easier around them
Why aren’t more people like that
It’s difficult finding balance
Removing certain people from your life
While trying to bring more people in
Nothing goes as planned
I pursue time alone
Because I can’t be with those people
The ones who lift me up
Who make me feel important
But when I’m alone
I don’t feel important
I feel pain and sorrow
I feel like death
From the poetry collection Cats, Coffee, Catharsis.
James Pack 