Twofer Tuesday Poetry: Symptoms & Shitty Male Role Models

Symptoms

Lack of trust
Social isolation
Difficulty expressing
Emotions
Low self-esteem
Inhibited sexuality
Repressed memories
Feeling different
Not human
Hopelessness
Auditory hallucinating
Anxious behavior
Terminal loneliness
Premature ejaculation
Inability to orgasm
Chest pounding
Hands shaking
Panic attacks

Shitty Male Role Models

My sister was in the army
I had just graduated Basic Combat Training
My father was never in the service
But his brother was way back when
He explained, in the army, that was this and this was that
My sister said things had changed
She said that was that and this was this
My father said no – that was this and this was that
I said my sister was right about that and this
My father said, “Oh I guess they changed things.”
Wasn’t my sister’s validation good enough?

We were at my father’s uncle’s house
And the police showed up
Someone accused my father’s uncle
Of sexually molesting a baby, less than 2-years-old
The police left; no arrests
My father and sister and I said nothing
We learned later the accusations were true
Having a father who had no respect for women
Suddenly didn’t sound so bad

From the poetry collection Men Are Garbage.