Every year I think
It will be different
I say this year
Will be the greatest
Of them all
I’m always disappointed
I see people
Go out with
Half a dozen friends
In celebration
If I plan something
No one comes
I watch as other people
Plan surprises for
Others they dislike
I don’t want surprises
But it would be nice
To see the same effort
Even when I ask
To be alone
I don’t get to be
Alone or anything else
I don’t feel
Important to anyone
I’m important
To my cat
I know she
Cares for me
Or is it only because
I bring her food
I enjoy my coffee
Be it addiction
Or the heat in my body
It always brings
Some comfort
Something familiar
I can’t float through
Life alone
But I can’t find companionship
I find no answers
To break away from
The darkness and pain
Something unresolved
Blocks my growth
I can’t connect with others
Until I face that demon
The demon won’t come out
It feeds off my fears and depression
From the poetry collection Cats, Coffee, Catharsis.
James Pack 