Throwback Thursday Poetry: Thoughts Inside

i’ve no self-esteem
i’m beginning to bleed
inside to out
i’m always in doubt
of myself
and everything i do
no one will help me
no one sets me free
compassion’s what i want
i never got a lot
trust i see in you
make my dreams come true

this is not healthy
i need some company
i cannot live alone
in my home
by myself
with no one to talk to
i walk down the hall
and stare at you all
you look at me weird
as if i should be feared
it’s not polite to stare
but i don’t care

where is the laughter?
what’s happily ever after?
i wonder about my life
mainly when i’ll die
stuck with myself
and nowhere to go
it’s hard to live this way
each day is gray
trapped inside my head
i can make nothing mend
my soul is in pain
please take it away

Early poetry from James. From the poetry collection Pariah Bound: The Lonesome Poetry.

Throwback Thursday Poetry: Obsession

Disclaimer: This is a story. I am not a stalker.

no one saw what i could see
the beast within that haunted me
it lay dormant in childhood days
then awoken at my first gaze
upon this beauty named fair Rachel
whom was surely named by an angle

i began to court this fair maiden
she gave me thoughts opposite of a Raven
i fell in love with her eyes
the amazing balls that could mesmerize
my thoughts all became of her
this young woman who was a wonder

it felt as if i was reborn
no longer was i being torn
this person who enchanted me
was what i needed to be happy
my mind thought of nothing more
it was like the days of yore

i grew to love this woman before me
she was all that i could see
we had our ups and downs in the past
but nothing could break our great mass
i went to see her the other day
and she screamed to me “stay away!”

i did not understand what happened
they all said i had an obsession
this your woman whom i adored
i only thought of, nothing more
when i went to her door
the Constable said “nevermore”

Early poetry from James. From the poetry collection Pariah Bound: The Lonesome Poetry.