Twofer Tuesday Poetry: I Am Garbage & Depression

I Am Garbage

I remember
In my 20’s
I said things
I thought were funny
I thought they
Made me funny
I felt clever and fun and accepted
My jokes were
Bad and wrong
Everyone thought
I was sexist
A misogynist
A rapist
A serial killer
I stopped making jokes
I keep my hands
To myself
I watch what I say
Trying to be respectful
It’s been 10 years
People still hate me
They still think
I kill hookers
And hide the bodies
A dumb kid’s mistakes
Never go away


How far into the darkness do you want to go?
How far away from happiness will you venture?
You’ll never survive the shadows behind my eyes.
My own black forest made of sorrow and despair.
On the outside, I project happiness and fun.
Believe I’m easygoing, lighthearted, and free.
This is an illusion. It’s a mask that I wear.
You can’t comprehend when your thoughts turn against you.
You’ll feel nothingness, loneliness, and worthlessness.
You’ll feel these every day and hide it from others.
You’ll hope if you hide them enough they’ll go away.
You’ll stare out of the darkness wishing to escape.

From the poetry collection Men Are Garbage.

Free eBook Friday: September

Not only is today Free eBook Friday, but it is also my birthday. Instead of asking everyone for gifts, I’m giving you all a free download of one of my books. This month’s eBook is Men Are Garbage. In my newest collection of poetry, I examine masculinity and reflect on personal experiences. Some of this includes childhood trauma. Some includes adult trauma. This is not the happy romance some people think of when they hear the word poetry. It’s dark. It’s real life. It’s my life. It felt fitting to offer this as a free download on my birthday.

The other exciting aspect of this poetry collection is I will feature some of the poems in a one man show I’m performing for the Tucson Fringe Festival in January 2020. I’ll share some poems along with some personal stories of my life and what inspired those poems. It will be an hour of poetry and storytelling. I’m excited as this is the first time, I’m featuring my work in this kind of performance. I’ve read my poetry to an audience before but only for a few minutes. More details on this as we get closer to 2020. The title of the show is also “Men Are Garbage.”

Most of the poetry included in this book was written within about a week. I would call it extreme inspiration or an emotional rage, but perhaps it was a little of both. I hope, in some small way, this collection will help the world. I never thought I would write poetry this much again, but I felt more passion behind this project than many of my other projects. I hope you enjoy it. “James Pack examines masculinity and anxiety in “Men Are Garbage,” a book of poetry in which he reflects on childhood trauma and his time as a nightclub bouncer.”

Book Giveaway

If you haven’t heard by now, I’m giving away a free signed paperback copy of my collection of poetry “Men Are Garbage” in celebration of National Poetry Month. You only have to sign up for my newsletter to be entered into the giveaway. Sign Up Here! The winner will be chosen and notified on April 15. No purchase necessary. You must reside in the United States. James Pack examines masculinity and anxiety in “Men Are Garbage,” a book of poetry in which he reflects on childhood trauma and his time as a nightclub bouncer.

Once you have signed up for the newsletter, you will have exclusive access to updates and information on new projects. I promise you will not get bombarded by emails. I’ll likely only send out something once a month with details of new things coming. For more frequent updates, you can always follow me on social media or follow my blog. Each Poetry Monday post on my blog features a poem from this collection. If you’re unsure, read through those archived posts and get a small sample of what the collection is like.

Don’t forget to subscribe to my Patreon Page (It only costs $1), like my Facebook Page, and follow me my Instagram Page and Twitter Page. Follow this blog to get updates for all the poetry during National Poetry Month. Enjoy Palm Sunday, Good Friday, Passover, Easter, and Earth Day.

100 poems for your reading pleasure.