Tuesday Poetry: Escaping the Night Terrors

The nightmares don’t come often
They come in different forms
But the themes remain the same
I’m stuck or trapped or paralyzed
Some creature or other coming towards me
The fear is having no escape

I feel this way when I’m awake
Unable to escape bills and responsibilities
And escape from all the people
This is only an extension of my fears
From childhood trauma
Unable to escape the violence

Those memories are locked away
I don’t know how to release them
I can’t cope or heal until I do
Perhaps that’s why simple life tasks
Can be more difficult than they should
That’s why I want to escape everything

The creatures that come for me
From which I can’t escape in my dreams
It’s always something different
A ghost or a beast or demon
Who or what do they represent
Do they represent more than one thing

I don’t have the tools or skills
To fight these mental battles
I try to face my everyday problems
One at a time but more get added to the list
How do I face my inner demons
When everyday tasks leave me paralyzed

I must remember the dreams when I can
Sometimes I don’t dream
If I can see them on paper
Maybe I’ll find other themes
Maybe I’ll discover what I’m escaping from
Only then can I face the daily challenges

From the poetry collection Cats, Coffee, Catharsis.

Tuesday Poetry: I Am the Laughing Man

This laugh it did consume my thoughts
The sound echoed everywhere
But I never could find the source
Something told me the laugh was real
I feared I would never find proof

I woke one night sweating – panting – 
A night terror I often had
I sensed someone was in my room
The lights revealed only silence
Was this laughter all in my head?

Months passed and I ignored the sound
I had almost forgotten it
When I first saw the laughing man
A grin as wide as an ocean
His was always the laugh I heard

He followed me everywhere
I thought no one else heard his noise
But he was there and he was real
I confronted him one dark night
He bit a chunk out of my neck

Then I became your laughing man

From the poetry collection Cats, Coffee, Catharsis.