“Doris! I’ve done it. I’ve figured it out. I know how to melt the ice caps.”
“This should be good.”
“The first step will be the most difficult. We’ll need to gain the trust of the penguins. This won’t be easy as they’re a paranoid bunch and far more nefarious than ducks. Once we have done that, we’ll have full-time access to the ice caps. Next, we need to hire several beavers to construct damns, so we have many safety zones for our land dwelling allies, such as the land lobsters.”
“What are land lobsters?”
“They look like lobsters but have pointy tails and live in dry areas.”
“You mean scorpions.”
“Once our allies are secure, we can begin phase three of my master plan.”
“What’s phase three?”
“Melting the ice caps of course.”
“How will you do that?”
They stare at each other in silence.
“I’m still working on that part.”
“You have no idea how to achieve that part of your plan.”
“I’m getting there. I’m getting there. It won’t be long now. I’ll have everything worked out soon.”
“Call me when you do.”
“Oh, I will Doris. You’ll see. Just you wait.”
“I’m trembling with anticipation.”
Later.
“Doris! I’ve done it. I’ve figured out…no that’ll never work. Carry on Doris.”
“Damn. I really thought you had it this time.”
Later.
“I’ve got it this time. We’ll get a giant mirror to reflect the sun’s rays onto the ice caps. And then victory!”
“Where are you gonna get a giant mirror big enough to melt the ice fast?”
“I…we…shit.”
“Yes, we do, but back to the mirror.”
“I hate you.”
“You could maybe build one.”
“We’ll build a giant mirror and melt the ice caps. Victory!”
“How do you build a giant mirror?”
They stare at each other in silence.
“Damn you.”
“I’m just trying to help you work through your issues darling.”
“Oh? And what are my issues, Doris?”
“Mostly just losing the memory of the mighty gods we used to be.”
“Gods!?”
“Yeah. But humans stopped believing in us and we lost our powers.”
“You’re pulling my claw.”
Part 4 Coming May 28.
James Pack 