Twofer Tuesday Poetry: Employment is Relative & February 13, 2016

Employment Is Relative

I discovered true happiness
When I was unemployed.
I always worried about money,
About food,
About bills,
But not much else.
It was almost freedom.

I spent my time
Bouncing between libraries,
Coffee shops,
Or quiet outdoor patios.
I would write.
I would read.
I would revise and rewrite.

Living the dream.

I always felt
Everything happened for a reason.
It was a rough patch,
This unemployment.
It lasted
Too long
For my comfort.

It was necessary – 

I had to
Live my passion,
If only for a moment.
I glimpsed at my future.
My beautiful future.
A homeless
Starving
Writer.

What a dream I have
For myself.
I’ll fill it with
Rejection letters,
Unfinished stories
And drafts,
Lists of ideas
For stories and poems,
And the thoughts
Of a lunatic mind
With no hope
Of recovery
Or redemption.

Such is the life of
A writer.

There’s never enough paper
For the whirlwind of thoughts
The mind endures.

Too many thoughts
Forgotten.
Never enough time to write them
Unless
You’re unemployed.

February 13, 2016

They told me
There was a problem
On the dancefloor.
I saw nothing.
I knew nothing.
A regular customer
Pointed at someone.
I asked to talk outside.
He said, “No!”
He argued with me.
He wanted to fight.
I asked his friends
To get him outside.
They argued with me.
If I forced him out,
This would become a brawl.
Someone got in his face.
I told them to back off.
The guy and his friends left.
I took the person who
Got in the guy’s face
To the back gate.
Their behavior was the problem.
They called me Transphobic,
And said there was a hate crime.
I told them to call the police.
The next day, they boycotted the bar.
They said I kicked them out,
But listened to the
Douchebag straight guy’s story.
They said our bar and 
The macho security
Hated trans people.
They never spoke to
Us or came back.
They don’t know
The douchebag straight guy
Tried to fight me.
He never came back.
Trans people still go to that bar.

From the poetry collection Men Are Garbage.

Twofer Tuesday Poetry: White Elephants in the Cider House & Closing Time for Steve

White Elephants in the Cider House

I’m against abortion
I’m against the death penalty
I’m against all killing
I won’t even squash a bug
But I can’t stop anyone
From having an abortion
Just like I can’t stop
Anyone from committing murder

The thought of having a child
Or aborting it is
A difficult decision
Not an easy choice; certainly
But if one decides
To do it
I want them 
To be safe

I knew a girl
Who had an abortion
When she was 16
She was young
Made a mistake
And had to
Make a tough choice
Altering the rest of her life

I knew a girl
Who decided to
Abort her child
When she was in college
She wasn’t ready for kids
And didn’t want to quit school
She’s dealing with post-traumatic stress
For killing her child

I knew a girl
Who got pregnant
By a married man
He forced her to abort
So no one would discover
He had been unfaithful
She did it because
She thought she loved him

I used to say abortion
Should be okay for rape victims
But I thought that child
Born under horrible circumstances
Could grow up and make
The world a better place
I will never take away someone’s
Right to make that choice

I will always advocate
Against abortion and
Any kind of killing
But if I know someone
Who makes that choice
I will stand beside them
And support them
With their difficult decision

Closing Time with Steve

The digital sign reads closed
And the automatic locks turn on
It’s 10 p.m. and the general store is closed
But Steve’s day isn’t done
He must count the receipts
And fix any errors before
Plugging in and sleeping for the night
The math is easy for a machine
But his battery doesn’t last
As long as it used to
He’ll have to call a repair bot
And have them tinker while he works
He can’t take time off
His fellow mechanoids need to shop

From the poetry collection Men Are Garbage.

Twofer Tuesday Poetry: I Am Garbage & Depression

I Am Garbage

I remember
In my 20’s
I said things
I thought were funny
I thought they
Made me funny
I felt clever and fun and accepted
My jokes were
Bad and wrong
Everyone thought
I was sexist
A misogynist
A rapist
A serial killer
I stopped making jokes
I keep my hands
To myself
I watch what I say
Trying to be respectful
It’s been 10 years
People still hate me
They still think
I kill hookers
And hide the bodies
A dumb kid’s mistakes
Never go away

Depression

How far into the darkness do you want to go?
How far away from happiness will you venture?
You’ll never survive the shadows behind my eyes.
My own black forest made of sorrow and despair.
On the outside, I project happiness and fun.
Believe I’m easygoing, lighthearted, and free.
This is an illusion. It’s a mask that I wear.
You can’t comprehend when your thoughts turn against you.
You’ll feel nothingness, loneliness, and worthlessness.
You’ll feel these every day and hide it from others.
You’ll hope if you hide them enough they’ll go away.
You’ll stare out of the darkness wishing to escape.

From the poetry collection Men Are Garbage.