Poetry Monday: Hell is a Lonely Place

The more time I spend
With other people whether
They’re strangers or friends
The more I feel alone – 
These people, these activities
They’re only distractions
To keep my mind off
How alone I feel – 
There’s no one to help me
No one to make it all better
It’s in my head and 
I have to fix it
Because I created this problem – 
I created all the sadness
And anger and loss – 
Yes, I’ve felt pain
And trauma from others
But they didn’t allow it
To stew and fester within – 
I did that – 
I am the architect of my own hell
And I will be its destroyer – 
But I don’t know how

From the poetry collection Cats, Coffee, Catharsis.

Poetry Monday: Even the Cats Won’t Snuggle with Me

Chills and chest pounding
Pulse feels normal
Negative thoughts stewing
Festering – 
Positive affirmations
Repeated in vain
Negativity pounds through me
Feeling the whole body
Shaking – 
My hand holds steady
What is the shaking?
Negativity surging
Can’t sleep
Tossing and turning
My thoughts won’t stop
Thoughts worse than nightmares
Fighting – 
Wishing to be held
Hugging, some comfort
Something to not feel
Alone in this world
Companions – 
The pounding chest
It never ends

From the poetry collection Cats, Coffee, Catharsis.

Poetry Monday: Snowflake Requiem

In it’s first instant
The first moment
It’s first thought
The first feelings
Falling – drifting – 
Gracefully dropping
From unknown origins
The air is cold and
Powerful, pulling, dragging
But the snowflakes
Never collide or touch
Graceful chaos – 
This snowflake
And it’s unique pattern
It can’t remember the time before
Maybe the other flakes
Have forgotten too
It floats and falls
Surfing on gusts
Still never touching
The multifarious falling flakes
On a journey down
Down to the endless white
What is the destination – 
After the eternity
The snowflake lands
On the branch of a tree
The other flakes continue down
To the whiteness from which
The tree protrudes
The flake sits alone – 
It wonders again of
The time before the fall
And where it came from
No memories are there
The other flakes sit together
On other branches and the ground
Other flakes have stopped falling
This flake sits at the top of a tree
Overseeing so many
Distant and cut off from so many
It wonders how all the other
Flakes can be together
How were they able to come together – 
Children below play with
Multiple flakes packed together
Snowballs, snowmen, snow angels
The one flake envies the fun
All the flakes participate
Except this one
Who doesn’t know how
To join with another flake
Who sits atop the tree
Afraid to join the crowd – 
The night falls and passes
And the sun creeps
Into existence
The air is still cold
But lifeless – 
The flake watches it’s
Brethren disappear
In large patches
Vanishing, melting
Where have they gone
And did they go together – 
In it’s last instant
The last moment
It’s last thought
The last feelings
Drifting – darkness – 
A lonely sleep

From the poetry collection Cats, Coffee, Catharsis.