Hellpets – Part 7

Read Part 6


            “Who’s hungry?” Charles said.

            “Oh, I’m so happy. I feel like I’ve never eaten. I’m so hungry.” Hinn said.

            “You ate this morning.”

            “Who’s excited for din din?” Charles said.

            “Me. I’m excited!” Hinn said.

            “Is Duke excited?”

            “Yes, but my name is Hinn. I’m still very excited about eating. Eating is my favorite thing. I’m gonna eat all this food!”

            “Slow down. You’re a hound not a pig.” I said.

            “Sowwy.”

            “You’re dropping food and slobber everywhere. Stop it!”

            “And here’s dinner for Duchess.” Charles said.

            “This better not be the same garbage the shelter fed me. Oh, wait. This is really good. Damn. Charles you’re my favorite.”

            “And I’ll fill up your water dishes while you two eat. Try not to make a mess Duke.” Charles said.

            “Yeah, Duke. Don’t make a mess.” I said.

            “I can’t help myself. Earth food is so amazing.”

            “That’s just dog food. You should try the human food.”

            “Human food? I thought they ate this stuff too.”

            “Nope. Their food is incredible. Especially steaks.”

            “What’s that?”

            “A big chunk of meat.”

            “Oh, my Gaap! Earth is awesome.”

            “It’s okay, I guess. Who are you?”

            “Ahh! Oh, Amy. When did you get here?” Hinn said.

            “Hinn, I hope I haven’t disturbed your Earth dinner. You must be Haura. I’m Hinn’s manager.”

            “Next time don’t sneak up on me when I’m eating.” I said.

            “I’ll do my best. Hinn, a word?”
            “Sure. I’m all done.”

            “Can we go somewhere private?”

            “Haura’s teaching me about Earth. We can chat in front of her.”

            “Very well. Your first assignment is starting soon. You’ll collect the soul, drag them down for processing, then return here and await further instructions. Understand?”

            “Yes.”

            “Okay. Get ready. And…go now.”

            They both left. Maybe I can eat in peace. I wonder if Ligur has crossed paths with that Hellhound before. He should pop in tomorrow. I’ll ask him about Amy.


Read Part 8

Hellpets – Part 6

Read Part 5


            “Hi Haura.”

            “What do you want Hinn?”

            “Just sayin’ hi.”

            “Can’t you see I’m napping?”

            “But you’re talking. You wouldn’t talk if you were asleep.”

            I tried ignoring him hoping he’d go away.

            “I know you didn’t fall asleep that fast.”

            “Do you need something Hound?”

           “It’s so boring around here.”

            “Try a nap.”

            “I wanna run around. I have a lot of energy. In Hell, I could run all over. I would chase demons and Hellbats and Hellbears and human souls. Earth is stupid.”

            “Congratulations! You’ve learned the secret.”

            “What secret?”

            “Earth is boring.”

            “I wish I knew that before accepting this assignment. Hey! What was it like the first time you came to Earth?”

            “Quieter.”

            “You mean people didn’t talk as much?”

            “I mean there weren’t any annoying Hellhounds asking a lot of questions.”

            “Now you’re just being rude.”

            “Don’t care.”

            “Since we’re working together, we should try not being rude to each other.”

            “Still don’t care.”

            “I’m sorry this is all new to me. I haven’t been up here for 200 years. I’m not jaded like you.”

            “I’m not jaded. I’m used to how things work here. I know my job and I’m good at it. I know when I need to work and when I can take a nap. And right now, is nap time. So, get away from me and let me SLEEP!”

            “That’s a scary face.”

            “Do you ever shut up!?”

            “You seem really upset. I’ll just go watch some TV and let you rest.”

            I didn’t think he’d ever leave. Why do I have to put up with this guy?

            “Hey! We should get our human to buy some of these treats they have on the TV!”

            “I WILL TEAR YOUR SKIN OFF AND EAT YOU INTESTINE IF YOU DON’T SHUT UP AND LET ME SLEEP!”

            “Um…okay.”

            Finally, some silence.

            “I’ll ask you about it later.”

            “BY THE WRATH OF LILITH, I WILL END YOU!”


Part 7 coming November 13.

Hellpets – Part 5

Read Part 4


            “What’s the point of this?” Hinn said.

            “It’s the best way to watch humans without them knowing.” I said.

            “Do you do a lot of watching through the window?”

            “It passes the time. And usually your human assignment doesn’t bother you.”

            “Usually?”

            “Don’t ask.”

            “Okay. What’s with that guy on the corner?”

            “He’s smoking and watching people.”

            “I didn’t know humans were on fire.”

            “What? No! He’s smoking a cigarette. That thing in his mouth.”     

            “Oh. Why?”

            “It’s a thing some humans do.”

            “What’s he doing now? Is he following that guy?”

            “Ooo nice. He’s a pickpocket.”

            “What’s that?”

            “A thief. He just snatched that guy’s wallet out of his pocket.”

            “A pickpocket? That diabolical fiend! I’m taking his soul to Hell.”

            “Woah! Relax. Put those teeth away. You don’t take anyone until they’re dead and you can’t kill them.”

            “Then what do we do? Just watch all this happen?”

            “Yep.”

            “That’s so…boring!”

            “You get used to it.”

            “How long have you been doing this?”

            “About 200 human years.”

            “That’s a long time. So, you’re like a human expert.”

            “I guess. Humans aren’t hard to figure out. They’re all pretty dumb.”

            “And you never collected a soul?”

            “No. That’s your job. I just watch them until they die.”

            “All the souls I collected were already dead?”

            “Yep.”

            “This is the worst job ever. I need action. I need excitement.”

            “Watch TV.”

            “What’s that?”

            “It’ll teach you about humans while I take a nap.”

            “How does it do that?”

            “Watch.”

            “Whoa. Humans are inside that box?”

            “Wow. You’re dumb. Let’s try something else.”

            “What’s this?”

            “It’s a cartoon. You’ll like it It has a dog that talks to humans. They solve mysteries.”

            “That’s so cool.”

            Praise Moloch. That should distract him for a while.


Read Part 6