Tag: poem

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Throwback Thursday Poetry: No More Pain

another day of humility
another day of horrible pain
the only thing that keeps me calm
is the thought of stabbing my palm
do you know how it feels
to live in misery
i can’t sleep anymore
it’s the thought of being alone
i have no one here with me
i can’t live with the insecurity

all i ever feel is pain
i can’t make it go away
i dream of feeling loved
but when it comes i try to run
i try to show myself to you
while i hide from all of you
it does no good to pray
Jesus laughs and walks away
my worst fear has come true
i’m alone and i hide from you

no more pain
please no more pain
just take it all away
|i cannot feel anymore
my body lies here on the floor
the bullet hole inside my head
took me down and struck me dead
none of you shall ever know
not until it’s a TV show
at least, i don’t hope so

Early poetry from James. From the poetry collection Pariah Bound: The Lonesome Poetry.

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Twofer Tuesday Poetry: Men Are Also Sexually Harassed & The Bluest Eye

Men Are Also Sexually Harassed

Women think
Because I’m a man
I don’t know
What it’s like
To be harassed
I worked at 
A gay bar
For five years
I’ve been
Groped and rubbed
By men and women
One drunk idiot
He walked up to me
And said
“I just want to fuck you so bad”
I ignored him
He cried
All my time there
The only people
Attracted to me
Were either drunk
Or on cocaine
I still feel
Like unwanted
Garbage

The Bluest Eye

I’m not handsome
My body is furry
I’m not what they call
“Man Pretty”
I don’t have abs
But I don’t have
The “Dad Bod”
I don’t have money
Or a nice car
My eyes are 
The color of shit
My glasses make them
Look too large
My hair is thinning
And already turning gray
People like my beard
But that’s all
Maybe they’d think
I was attractive
If my eyes
Were blue

From the poetry collection Men Are Garbage.

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Poetry Monday: Where Do You Go When You Have Nothing and No One?

I had nowhere to go
So, I walked and walked
Until my entire body
Was numb or sore

I ran through a list
Of people I could call
But it was late
And feared no one was awake

I thought they wouldn’t answer
This happened once before
And no one responded
I felt displaced – 

I tried to sleep on a bench
My sore body hurt more
I tried to sleep on the grass
Until the sprinklers came on

I wandered about for a while
When I decided to go home
I first tried to sleep in my car
Cracked the window for air

But all I got were small bugs
Buzzing – buzzing – 
In my ears and everywhere
I gave in and finally

Walked into my darkened apartment
The bedroom door closed
Two months sleeping on this couch
What I wouldn’t give to be alone again

I woke up after others
But the bedroom door still closed
With the clothes from the night before
I left again to be anywhere but there

I sit in a library – stomach moaning for food
Transferring my thoughts and my pain
From my body to the ink to the paper
I just want to be alone

From the poetry collection Men Are Garbage.