Twofer Tuesday Poetry: Lizard Smashed on the Sidewalk & Crossed Wires

Lizard Smashed on the Sidewalk

One evening
As I walked to work
I was cheerful
No concerns or
Worries at the time
Then I felt something
Beneath my foot
A crunch
But not like paper
Or plastic or word
What was it
I lifted my foot
To discover
A lizard smashed
Into the concrete
A small one
Who had barely lived
I didn’t see him
Or her or whatever
I think it ran
Under my foot
And wasn’t 
Fast enough
I felt like a monster
Why was fate so cruel
I spent 30 minutes
Fighting back tears
It was a senseless
Useless murder
One I could never
Take back
It got me thinking
What if I were crushed
Would anyone cry
For me or
Would they make
It about them
Like I am
Making this lizard’s
Death about me
Death never makes sense

Crossed Wires

Every day the
Wounds cut deeper
The ignorance
Of 30 years
Evaporates
The trauma
Lives again
The panic
The mistrust
The pain
The anger – 
I haven’t been
Angry in years
I fear it
Will bottle up
And I will
Self-destruct
But I don’t
Know where
To put the anger – 
Nothing satisfies
The rage monster
Nothing satisfies
The angry child
Who doesn’t 
Know what
Love is
Who doesn’t
Know what
Friendship is – 
I always believed
I held a
Monster inside
Now I know
It’s true
And I’m
Afraid of him
What do I
Do with him – 
Part of me
Says to
Let him out
What Hell
Would follow him
What Hell
Have I
Locked away
Inside my mind – 
There are
No heroes here

From the poetry collection Cats, Coffee, Catharsis.

Twofer Tuesday Poetry: The Haunting of Alamo Apartments & Ode to the Grave Digger

The Haunting of Alamo Apartments

One night
As I attempted to
Fall asleep
Swaying in
And out of
Consciousness
It felt like
Someone was hugging me
Laying on my stomach
I felt something on my back
I sat up and
Saw a figure
Standing next to me
I threw my arm out
To push it away
As I gasped
And moved off the bed
I turned on the light
Nothing was there
My mind playing tricks
Then I saw foot prints
In the carpet
Leading back to the closet
They faded
My feet and shoes
Never left foot prints
In the carpet
I apologized
To whomever they were
I only felt love
No malice or negativity
They never came back
But sometimes my towels
Are pushed to one side
On the rack

Ode to the Grave Digger

Grave Digger! Grave Digger!
Helping the departed
Shoveling, shoveling
The earth from the ground

So solemn and somber
The work you do for us
None want to trade with you
None want to hire you

Where then, my Grave Digger
Will my resting place be?
In a cemetery
Or near an ocean breeze?

Once again shoveling
Removing grass and dirt
The pine box is lowered
And covered in darkness

And seen last by the dead
Grave Diggers shoveling
Forever their remains
Entombed to rest in peace

From the poetry collection Cats, Coffee, Catharsis.

Twofer Tuesday Poetry: Trust Issues & Pendulum

Trust Issues

It’s a big deal
For me to tell
Someone I trust them
I don’t trust easy
And when I do
They prove me wrong
With each year that
Passes it takes longer
For someone to gain
My trust – 
Losing old friends and 
Gaining new ones but
Never trust anyone ever
Trust is earned not
Given but always lost
Never to be regained
Trust is hard to
Find and also hard
To keep – 
I don’t trust myself

Pendulum

Rocking back and forth
Back and forth, back and forth
Got to keep moving to 
Make the pain go away
And object in motion ages
Slower than an object at rest
Tears don’t swell as fast
In my eyes if I’m moving
Push the pain and the tears away
Rocking back and forth
Back and forth, back and forth
Just keep moving, just keep moving

From the poetry collection Cats, Coffee, Catharsis.