There’s so much to be said. How can I sum it all up in one letter? I’m you, but older; much older. Life hasn’t been kind to us. You’ve already been through a lot and there’s so much more you will go through. It seems unfair, but everything has a purpose. I don’t expect you to understand that, but one day you will. And believe it or not, things will get better. Then they’ll get worse only to get better again. That’s how life is; ups and downs. The ups are never as great as you think, and the downs are never as bad as you think.
You’ve got another 25 years before you start to understand all the things that happened to you. Why do you feel what you feel? Why do you think what you think? The answer will come. My advice to you is to always trust your instincts. In many ways, your instincts are the only thing you can trust. They help you survive. They teach you. They protect you. People will come and go. This will hurt, but you’ll keep going. You’ll have trouble trusting them, but don’t judge them too harshly. They’re like babies and don’t know any better. Sometimes you make the same mistakes they do.
You’re going to feel alone for a long time. Don’t let it bother you. Loneliness can be a strength and sometimes it helps you survive. Be careful not to let it consume you. That’s a darkness that’s hard to escape. Sometimes you’ll want it to consume you. Just know you’ll always find your way out. Your future doesn’t have much love, but there is some there. It may not be the kind of love you want, but I promise it’s the love you need. You won’t be much younger than me when you finally understand what love is, but it will change your world for the better. It will make you a better person and a better friend.
Believe in yourself and don’t listen to any of the negative things you hear. Don’t listen to the negative things you tell yourself. You have to make your life something you enjoy. You have to mold yourself into the person you want to be. No one will help you and most people won’t care. You’ll know you’re doing something right when more and more people want to spend time with you and talk to you. It will feel too-good-to-be-true because you’re used to people being awful. Not everyone is awful, and miracles do happen. Everything you’ve survived and will survive makes you a walking miracle. Remember that. You are a miracle. Never give up! Never surrender!