“Who’s a precious little baby? Who’s the sweetest kitty?”
Old woman I will end you.
“Meow meow. Meow meow.”
Get out of my face Hag!
“Oh! Duchess Minerva Skimbleshanks! Don’t be naughty!”
I will bite your finger off.
“You sit there on the chair and think about what you’ve done.”
The only thing I’m thinking about is how happy I’ll be when this assignment’s over. You are, by far, the worst human I’ve ever watched over. You don’t even know magic. You can’t use tarot cards. Burning sage in people’s homes doesn’t make you a witch.
“I’ve never heard you meow so much Duchess. You sure are a chatter box this morning.”
Sit on a cactus Fustilug.
“Oh my. I’m feeling a bit flushed. I better get some water.”
Please stop telling me everything you’re thinking.
“Oh. Something…doesn’t feel right. I better…have a sit down.”
Is it happening? Don’t tease me old woman. And with the shattering of glass, she is down. I didn’t think you would ever croak. Enjoy Hell. Say hit to Carol in HR.
I’m a Hellcat. I was born from the fires of Hell. I work as a familiar to humans. I watch over them until they die and make note of any magic abilities they have. Most humans have no magic. And morons like the corpse on this kitchen floor think they have magic when they don’t.
And my name isn’t Duchess. It’s Haura. I can’t communicate with humans to tell them my name, so I have to put up with whatever they call me. This old woman was more irritating than any other I’ve been around. Maybe I’ll have time to eat some of her body before my manager shows up with my next assignment. Damn! Someone’s at the door.
“Mom, are you home? I brought you some bagels from this new bakery near my office. Mom? Oh, hello Duchess. Pst pst pst.”
Like mother like daughter. I hate your whole family.
“Do you know where mommy is? Is mommy home?”
I despise baby talk. Please stop.
“Maybe she’s out for a bit. Let’s make ourselves a snack. Oh my God! Mom? Mom!”
Sometimes I think humans believe screaming and crying will reverse death.