Is this depression –
A lack of interest
In all things
In everything
In nothing –
I just lay here
With my thoughts
No distractions
Nothing to stop me
From thinking too much
A downward spiral
Into the darkness
Because of boredom –
Am I just bored
And feel unhappy
Because I’m not
Entertained –
Are boredom
And depression
The same thing
But from different
Perspectives
Like the opposite
Sides of a coin –
I can force
Myself into some
Activity
Something to keep
The darkness away
But it’s always there
Lurking
Plotting
Biding its time
Waiting to consume
When I’m most
Vulnerable –
Why do I
Feel this way
Why do I
Always return
To the black pit
Standing at the edge
Thinking that
Dark mystery
Is more attractive
Then life
Then living
Then love –
I don’t want
To go into the pit
But I’m running
Out of directions
To turn
From the poetry collection Cats, Coffee, Catharsis.
James Pack 